I took a position at the number one online retailer in the world, and I’m going to share with you some of the things I learned while working at Amazon. But before do that, let me take a step back and tell you how I got there.

While working from home performing my medical billing and coding duties, boredom and burnout struck. With my only human interaction coming in the form of zombie scrolling through the trenches of the innanet, I conjured up a plan to get on my grind and find a gig that would allow me to get out in the world, meet new people, and stack a couple of coins on the side. This was ’bout to be all about the Benjamins baby.

When you’re working behind the screen and the most promising problem you have to conquer concerns patients’ medical billing statements, your career could be uninspiring at best. Behold! A little position at Amazon came across my screen. I figured, Why the hell not?!?” I have the time, and a little part-time gig will help me with my hustle plan; plus, my savings account ’bout to be Uncle Scrooge on these heauxs.

Impulsively, I entered my info and within a week conditional employment was offered — contingent upon my ability to pass a drug screening and background check.

“Shiiiid.. I’m good! Hahaa. Got ‘eem!!!”

Um…. What I didn’t know was, in reality, They.Got.ME!!!!

Faaaammm… Check it: I was blessed with my ideal schedule. 3 days on, 4 days off. This position must’ve been made for me. God had my back, and these blessings were in abundance.

Well… I mean…. Until I got to work.

Yooooo. From the gate, we were herded in like cattle, scanned in, and handed our supplies. For 12.5 hours my feet were beat up against the unforgiving concrete floor. I swear, I wobbled to the car like a Yeezy Season model, and pondered over every wrong thing I’ve ever done in my life.

I was placed in the packing department where I worked to box up ordered items. I was absolutely fine with this. I got to read the notes that accompanied the gifts and I packed, and I placed a little more love in each box to ensure no damage was done in transit. It was cool. I enjoyed my job.

Day two… My feet were on fire, but that didn’t matter. Packing was poppin’ and my rates were prospering. 2 hours into the shift I was redirected to the inbound area… AKA, the docks.

Biiiih!!!! Listen…

Never.Have.I.Ever.Worked.SOOO.Hard.In.My.Entire.Life! *takes a shot*

Between dragging and pulling pallets full of products and lifting boxes of bulk bullshit, I damn near broke my back. The docks Deboed the hell outta me and made me its bitch. The docks hit me hard and knocked the wind out of my ass before I could even respond. It was in that moment, I knew I was defeated!

Any time a company places a FREE pain pill dispenser next to the time clock, be PREPARED for them to BEAT.THAT.ASS!!!!

But all was not lost. I did get some valuable lessons learned in the process. Wanna hear it? Here it goes:

If you read multiple reviews from multiple sites and they all say the same thing… BELIEVE THEM.

Nearly every review about employment was negative. The NY Times wrote a piece calling the company a ‘Bruising Workplace’. People created colorful vlogs about the brash beating they’ve received working in the wonderland of the world-wide web.

I called my closest confidants and expressed my concerns. They encouraged me to formulate my own opinion. So I went in, and discovered that it was everything they said it would be. And I was not here for any of it.

Because I was a good fit for them doesn’t mean they were a good fit for me.

The interviewing process was nonexistent. I knew it was some shit in the game when it was too easy to get in. Orientation was a sham; and although I knew it was my side hustle, I should’ve known it was a set up when we didn’t get a tour of the facility, or exact information on our job duties until we reported to work the first day.

Being treated like an inmate at Litchfield wasn’t my idea of a good time without Tastee, Black Cindy, Crazy Eyes, Daya, Alex, and Poussey to get it poppin’. I wasn’t there to steal, and didn’t appreciate the fact that they acted as if that was my only reason for applying.

Armed with a college degree for a position that required a diploma, I already knew I was good enough for them, but I wasn’t interested in being antagonized while aching, so nah, they damn sho’ weren’t good enough for me.

Sorry. Not sorry.

Mo’ money, Mo’ problems.

Since the shift I was on was the highest paid of ‘em all, I figured I’d be cool with my duties.

NOPE!!!

12.5 hours of slave suffrage, revealed why there was such a huge jump from the base pay. With it came waaay too much ignorance and far too many orders and opposing ideas that I was expected to accept in an instant.

I think I was cool until I realized that I had to go to lunch with the folks on the docks and it wasn’t even 11pm…. Shiiiiid…. I had to be there until 7 A.M.!!! Whatchu mean it ain’t 3 A.M. yet?

I should’ve walked out then. I mean… I was already clocked out. Why not? Nah. I’m gone see if I can make it to the other side of Heaven’s gate, and hit it for the long haul.

Quality of life is key.

After the first two nights, I realized that I’d never see my kids on the weekends again. I was damn near crippled, and my quality of life was already plummeting. I wasn’t interested in new ailments and issues I couldn’t quickly overcome, but three days a week, I can make it right?

Wrong.

I found out that mandatory overtime was scheduled for Sunday and Wednesday (not the day after Thanksgiving as originally stated). That means my 36 hour work week turned into a 60 hour week On.My.Feet!!!! Fuuuuck that!

I couldn’t walk after 24 hours, and I was certainly not down for disability after 60. My first check was gonna be used to pay for the limos at my funeral.

Um… No ma’am.

By working here, my life was taking a nosedive in the toilet. Putting my family on hold and risking my physical well-being wasn’t worth it, especially for a damn dollar and a dime.

My education is everything.

Clearly, my degree was made for me to work in an administrative position. And while I’m not always keen to the idea, my ass wasn’t built for the bullshit Amazon offered. Instead, I’m focusing on enhancing my life by cultivating my creative canvas, and elevating myself intellectually.

In a nutshell, I ain’t slaving to student loans, AND being worked like a slave at the same damn time. I ain’t here for that. And I ain’t having it.

I’ll save the manual labor for those who desire to be laborers. In the mean time, I’m cool being bored with my business. Blessings were before me, and I was too ungrateful to recognize them.

I’ve never worked so hard. Amazon turned me from Stud to stemme as I tapped into my femininity and forgot how ‘hard’ I was. Behind this brief, but brutal beating, I’m damn near tempted to get a mani/pedi, go buy a dress, and sashay down the street. I’d rather strip than to suffer like that –Ever AGAIN!!!

For all of two days, I’ve realized that my rationale was ridiculous, and my blessings have already been in abundance. I sought out something that clearly wasn’t for me in attempts to escape the blessings before me.

My last day was my LAST day!

As quick as my ass got mollywopped, I had to make a break before I was tempted to tear that place to shreds like they’d tore into me, and as a result, I’ve renewed my focus on the foundation that I’ve stood on thus far.

One thing’s for certain. Amazon is hiring, because I don’t work there any damn more.

If you found this post humorous or have an experience at a job that you’d like to share. Please don’t hesitate to comment!

24 thoughts on “What I’ve Learned While Working at Amazon”

  1. its called “AMAZON” for a reason, riiiight???

    #Lessonlearned
    #grateful
    #boutthatAdminlife

    I.literally.cant.stop.laughing.

    1. LOL. Thanks Victoria! Unfortunately, this is my life. It didn’t take long for God to reveal to me what isn’t for me!

  2. Oh hell I just took a position foebtje same reason. Equipped two degrees and a few certifications as well. This article just scared me. Although I already be on my feet for hours on one of my hustles I figured this maybe netter than the crazy ppl I deal with and I am employees by. HELLPPPP!!

    1. I say go for it. Like my grandmother told me, go and get your own experiences with it. There are many people who are still there. I just know what the Lord revealed that I better be thankful for my blessings. HAHAAAA… All I know is, you better not be leaving the Red Apple.

  3. I’m so glad I read this because I was going tomorrow to fill out for a position there. My cousin told me that it was easy work with good pay, but after reading this…. They can have that.

    1. If they put you in the right spot, you’ll be cool–for the most part. The fact that they will move you at any given second to do some shit you clearly weren’t ready for… That’s where I had to bow out. Give it a shot. Because it wasn’t for me doesn’t mean it won’t be for you. LOL.

  4. This is hilarious. I’ve definitely worked at a job that felt close to how hell would probably feel. 😀 And you had to have a degree to work there. It was a joke. I’m feeling this article. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do for physical and mental strength.

    1. Chiiiile!!!! Let me tell you about the God I know!!! He won’t put you through more than you can handle… And THAT.I.Couldn’t.Handle.Dot.Com… lol

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *